Week by Week: Week 19

Our Baby: 

• Is over 6 inches long by now and weighs just over 7 ounces. 
• Is developing the parts of the brain the register the five senses. 
• If she is a girl, she already has 6 million eggs formed in her ovaries! The building blocks of our future grandchildren could already exist. Trippy. 
• Is developing that protective, greasy, white skin covering called vernix caseosa that you sometimes see at birth. 
• Is fully formed, and now just needs to get bigger and stronger before arriving in the world. 

I (traditionally):

• Start experiencing some round ligament pain, a sharp feeling on one or both sides of my hips and abdomen. 
• Am still feeling the baby kick and flutter inside me, and might even be able to feel it from the outside by now. 
• Am still experiencing all the things that go along with heightened emotion. This means more tears, more anger, more hurt, more warm fuzzies. 
• Have some aches and pains in my abdomen due to stretching muscles. 
• Keep having leg cramps and hip pain, especially at night. 
• Have started asking around about pediatricians for our baby. 
• Am psyched about next week's 20-week appointment and ultrasound. 

I (actually):

• May or may not have round ligament pain. I don't have sharp pains in my abdomen or hips, but every now and then I'll get one in my groin. Apparently sometimes round ligament pain can be there, too. It's not too bad. It mostly makes me acutely aware of a part of my body that I rarely think about. 
• Have heightened emotion. For sure. Details are below. 
• Have noticed that my abdomen seems to be divided into northern and southern hemispheres (my belly button is the dividing line). The northern hemisphere feels like a normal, extra-chubby, tummy. The southern hemisphere feels firm and stretched, and it sometimes aches when I move or stretch with exertion. 
• Hip pain. I can make it until about 3:00 a.m. before waking up to incredible soreness in my hips. I'm convinced being on my back would fix it, but then it's even more uncomfortable in my abdomen that way. Putting a pillow between my legs at night helps a little bit, but I find myself looking forward to getting out of that bed every morning. 
• Have not even begun the pediatrician search, and am suddenly feeling like I better get on the ball. 
• Am SO PSYCHED for my next appointment. 
• . . . have felt the baby moving!! Huzzah!

That baby movement started pretty much as soon as I wrote last week's post. At first it was some pops and gurgles that one might mistake for an upset stomach, but now it's more like muscle twitches and spasms. It is surreal and amazing at the same time. I have yet to feel a definite "kick" from the inside, but I've been assured by many women that eventually I'll be able to tell when the baby is elbowing me. I can't wait! 

Those emotions, as usual, keep spilling out of me in the form of tears. For example, Levi and I watched a heartbreaking movie last night (I'm not sure we would have picked it if we'd have known how sad it would be) called Mr. Pip. It's on Netflix, and we chose it because it takes place on an island near Papua New Guinea (where Levi grew up). There are plenty of things that are cry-worthy in that movie, but it only took one moment to make me completely lose it. *SPOILER ALERT:* A little boy has been ripped out of his mama's arms by some army men, and it's clear that he's being taken away to be killed.  The captain then turns to the woman and asks if she was the boy's mother. She nods her head in despair. He asks her if she'd like to go with him. In despair and relief she says yes. They drag her away so she and her son can meet their fate together. Holy cow. DONE. Buckets of tears. 

I've also found that an emotion I'm feeling (no matter how strongly) can change or disappear in a split second. Unfortunately, it's not by my own choice or will that changes my emotions. I've found that the words or response from a person can flip a switch in me, and it's rather disconcerting. I'm fully, logically aware that it's not a rational response, but man are those some strong feelings. I simply cannot stop them. All I can do is keep my mouth shut and try like the dickens to control my body language. 

I am definitely excited for my appointment next week. It will be a long one, but it will be so worth it to see that little baby, hear the heartbeat, learn if it's a he or a she, and learn more about how he/she is progressing in there. Last time I had a big ultrasound (during my first pregnancy) they gave me a disc of images, so hopefully I'll return with another disc of images that I can share with y'all! 

Freak-Out Moments:

Besides the moment that I realized those gurgling feelings in my belly were actually the baby, nothing major has happened this week.

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Next week we'll hope for some more detailed updates after my 20-week appointment!

Keep it real, y'all!