Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Letters, Lightsabers, and Love: Prologue

Levi and I married each other in June of 2012 after only six months of head-over-heels, foolish-about-each-other love. Our story, like every love story, has its own unique and sweet moments and timings. We continue to marvel at the way God orchestrated our lives to bring us together, and though it included pain and trials for both of us, we wouldn't change anything about it.

Everything that happened and every way that we grew led us to this moment.

And now, please enjoy the Prologue to our love story: Letters, Lightsabers, and Love.



My heart was broken. Really, really broken.

As most people might expect, a boy was involved. As most people might expect, the end of a relationship was involved. And, of course, as most people might expect, it was not my decision or my desire.

And, as most people might expect at the start of all love stories, it was the catalyst for something great.

My heart broke briefly over the boy, but my heart broke infinitely more over the way I'd turned my back on my relationship with the Lord.

Months before, I had made the decision to begin a relationship with a boy that would spiral my life down into depths I'd never dreamed were possible for me. Possible for people in movies, stories, or non-nurturing environments, sure, but never me. I learned the very hard way that it's incredibly easy to make a huge mess of my life.

When the relationship ended my heartbreak was twofold. I was crushed by the knowledge that I'd intentionally chosen to leave God for a very dark place and the guilt that made me feel, and I was also crippled by the thought that the true love of my life would have to deal with the past I'd just made for myself. That I had become what I thought of as "damaged goods."

There was a brief period of insanity where I wanted the darkness back. Where I thought that coming back to the Lord and reconnecting with my true friends and preparing for the man the Lord had chosen for me would just be too hard. With the help of some dedicated friends and family I left that period behind.

Then the healing process began. It was difficult, and learning not to punish myself was the hardest thing I've done in my life thus far. My friends and my family rallied around me, which was much needed but often difficult. Their unconditional love made the ugliness in my past that much sharper.

Little did I know that mere days after my last low point something new and life-changing would be introduced to my life. Nor did I realize that God would time things and spread it out just enough so that things would begin after healing finally took place.


And at this point in the story the details are fuzzy and more than a little vague for you, dear readers. You're wondering where all the good stuff is. Well, the good stuff is coming up. The details at this point in the story are not important for you, but my state of heart and mind is.

So don't worry. Soon you'll have many details and many amusing and sweet anecdotes. The beginning may be dark, but I promise you this story has a happy ending!

Next Chapter (Chapter 1: Signing Up)

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