I've thought about writing this series for a long time, and I feel like it's time to start. It may seem a strange thing to begin as my own pregnancy progresses, but my story wouldn't be complete without my first and my second miscarriages. I'm also not ready to shift the focus of this blog entirely to pregnancy. A lot of people are still drawn here because of miscarriage, and there's so much left to be said.
With that in mind, I start this new series. I don't know how long it will be, but I know that it will be for women who have had miscarriages, the friends and family who support women who have had miscarriages, and anyone who wants to know what the process of miscarriage looks like.
So why write this series?
More women want to share their stories.
If you've been paying attention to various media outlets and blogs over the last few years, miscarriage is being discussed more and more. Women are sharing their stories of miscarriage and stillbirth in an attempt to break the silence that usually surrounds this all-too-common occurrence. These women want to bring awareness to the rest of the world that miscarriage is far more than a one-time event in a woman's (or a couple's) life and that its effects run far deeper than a simple loss.
More people know about miscarriage.
It stands to reason that with more women speaking out about their miscarriages more people know about miscarriage. Not only do they know about miscarriage, they also know more about the process of miscarriage. But that doesn't mean they know everything they should.
Many misconceptions still exist about miscarriage.
Some of these misconceptions: Miscarriage is preventable. Miscarriage is somehow the fault of the woman carrying the child. Miscarriage is rare. There is a clear reason why miscarriage occurred. The pain of miscarriage is less if it happened early or if another pregnancy occurs and lasts until term.
Miscarriage is (unfortunately) common, and you will know someone who miscarries.
The truth is anywhere from 10% to 25% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage, depending on the studies. This high number is likely because many women never even realize they're pregnant before they miscarry, but a woman who knows she's pregnant--even if only for one day--and then miscarries is still incredibly common.
No matter how she felt about the pregnancy, miscarriage is hard.
Some women feel relieved when they miscarry. Some women feel nothing. Some women are devastated. No matter how a woman feels about her miscarriage, however, it is a difficult time in her life, and it's very often painful and occasionally traumatic. Knowing how to care for these women (and couples) is important and usually a key step in recovery.
Just like people, every miscarriage is different. And every woman who has a miscarriage is different. There's no perfect way to handle someone you know when they've experienced this loss, and there are no exact steps to follow to help them get over it. Like friendship and love, it is a process that comes from relationship with a person. This series will hopefully provide some guidance in those areas.
We're about to keep it super real, y'all.